There Will Be Crossbows
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There Will Be Crossbows
There Will Be Crossbows is a long-distance improvised comedy podcast, featuring frequent collaborators and veteran improvisers John Robison and James Nelson. We make up songs and other bits, record them, send them to the other one to finish, then meet online to record some scenes. And yes... there w...
Episodi recenti
85 episodi
Franchise
Two brothers come into a large fortune and promptly open up their own McDonald's franchise, but will their lack of business acumen sink the venture be...
Suburbs
The Suburbs: the most dreaded frontier of the modern age. In this ruthless, action-packed episode, terrorists begin their hostile takeover of the a ne...
Monarchy
Royal family drama ensues in this shocking new episode of Crossbows! Follow the adventures of Rutherford, Bea, and Hayes as they navigate a shifting m...
Choir
Two poor saps kicked out of their choir on the same day face entirely different destinies after they try to salvage their careers at the local jazz cl...
Contradictions
A young boy questions his faith in a provocative episode that quickly spirals out of control and becomes about Tilda Swinton.
Bugs
When a child is forced to wear an unusual Halloween costume by their parent, all hell breaks loose in a town infested by entomologists.
Ranch
From picking out salad dressing to eating human faces, this episode runs the gamut. We're sorry in advance for all the people we insulted in Hungaria,...
Alaska
Survive the frozen wasteland that is Alaska. Bears, guns, global warming, and craft beer all pose dangerous threats in this special episode dedicated...
Swarm, Autobiography, Illness
It's a Crossbows Mini-Sode! A kiddo gets his dream gift in the form of many horrific insects, Ozzy's autobiography gets cleaned up by his ghostwriter,...
Big Game Hunters
In this epic mini-sode, big game hunters and presidential assassins argue ethics, and we learn why having all your neighbors on speed dial can be a di...
There Will Be Crossbows LIVE from the Living Room
Wow, our first live show in 8 years! We booked the fanciest venue available to us, James's living room, and performed in front of an enraptured audien...
Global Warming & The Olympics
It's a mini-sode! A couple of braniacs solve global warming, but have trouble stopping it. In a bonus scene, the Olympics comes to Tennessee!
The Hayden Christensen School of Acting
It's a Crossbow mini-sode! Acclaimed actor Hayden Christensen tries to recruit more students for his acting workshop.
The Curator & The Egg
It's a Crossbows Mini-sode! A con artist gets his comeuppance and a black market dodo bird egg is the subject on intense negotiation.
Granite & Reward
It's a Crossbows Mini-sode! Enjoy a quickly escalating altercation with a paperboy and a wish-granting hamster!
Granulation
What is improv, if not breaking apart something into little pieces of material? Please, don't reflect on that sentence, it makes less sense the longer...
Order
Order! Order in the podcast! Has one word every implied so much coordination, organization, and control as "order"? No, at least not until we debut ou...
Gravity
In a very serious, down to earth episode, the very laws of physics are challenged. An astronaut gets sent to certain death, wacky Isaac Newton comes u...
Soup
Nothing like "Soup" at the beginning of summer! On this episode, an orphanage looks for ways to cut costs, a food truck owner questions his business d...
Ears
Listen up, cause it's time we finally talked about the unsightly fleshly appendages which allow us the gift of hearing at the expense of being unsight...
Jiggle
It's Jiggle Time! In what is probably the least stable episode yet, James and John riff on the many uses of the word "jiggle" in a free-form improv se...
Shrimp
Mmm, shrimp! As any good improvisor knows, food makes the BEST suggestion for a longform show, and this is no exception. A restaurant customer's deep...
Coconut
Clop, clop, clop -- it's time for a whole improv show based on the most beloved of tropical fruits, the noble coconut! Tropical Tony hires a Coconut B...
Marbles
Thish eeshpidos off Thrawiba Croshbrwo - oh, sorry, let me take these marbles out of my mouth so you can understand. It's a brand new longform-style i...
Loud
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS WE MADE A NEW EPISODE IT'S CALLED LOUD AND IT'S A LONGFORM IMPROV FORMAT THAT YOU'RE GONNA LOVE AND - oh, sorry, you're just right...
Expansion
This week we try out a classic longform improv format to shake up the show a bit! The dark truth behind Settlers of Catan is revealed, a colonization...
Patio
The weather is getting warmer, so we all got PATIOS on the mind, right? Well, instead of spending time outside, why don't you enjoy a patio-themed imp...
Note
Has one word ever yielded so many possibilities? Yeah, probably. But this week's theme is "note", so that's what you get. An over-expressive actor get...
Bratwurst
If you want the wurst German accents you've ever heard, then this week's podcast is for you! James and John have differing opinions on sausages, littl...
Brass
Shiny as a trumpet and loud as a trombone, it's an episode almost as precious as its metal namesake, "Brass"! Two band buddies have to make a tragic d...
Bulb
Like a sudden light of inspiration above your head, this episode will shine through the darkness to bring you a flash of luminescent comedy. And if yo...
Vision
We're trying to capitalize on other popular media involving Vision, so here's a whole episode about it! John discusses his various laser surgeries, a...
Mutation
Oh, God! This was supposed to be a gardening podcast, but it got exposed to radioactive waste and now it's turned into IMPROV COMEDY! AAAAGH! Listen i...
Juice
The theme is "Juice", so whether you're a sugar junkie, a regular junkie who just loves improv, or a literal lump of sugar who has come to life and wa...
Creativity
Allow us to indulgently express our true selves with this compilation of deleted scenes, each revealing a different part of our tormented souls. Like...
Map
No need to double-check your GPS, you're right where you're supposed to be. In our "Map" episode, we travel to destinations both physical and metaphor...
Sentient Ovens
In one of the strangest themes in the history of the show, we've done a whole episode on "sentient ovens", and if you're the type of person who stays...
Office Chairs
Hold on to your seats, 'cause it's an entire episode on "Office Chairs"! Look, we know, office chairs are possibly the single most overused source of...
Milquetoast
In the most boring episode of anything ever recorded, it's "Milquetoast". This episode is so bland and uninspired that you're bound to fall asleep wit...