Here's My Thing
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Here's My Thing
My journey to becoming a fine storyteller.
Episodi recenti
482 episodi
No More Felt-Matted Checkers Sets (1/10)
Today marks a new day at a newer coffee shop. The past cafe has been recategorized to a social infirmary: a place where I can go with a mismatched out...
Coffee S-H-O-P-P-E (2/10)
Before the coffee s-h-o-p-p-e, I pit stopped at a cafe run by a man with more hair on his head than he had on his head and then after that I spent som...
The Timberland Excuse (3/10)
I stopped at a convenience store to get some cinnamon candies and a seltzer then ran into someone who I sort of knew. Also, I’ve been to the coffee s-...
Hot Chocolate Fucking Whipped Cream (4/10)
A wet figure appeared and stirred things up a bit. I feel a bit foolish for not anticipating being lonely throughout this process. I also matched with...
Going On A Date After Being Severely Disappointed (5/10)
A boy walked in with his mom and ordered a vegan sugar cookie today. I don’t think he knew it was vegan. The man with the mule tail goatee said someth...
Shaking Some Hands (6/10)
I start my job hunt by getting stood up for a work interview. Later, I tuck into a Hot Topic, a Lids, and a massage therapy studio before walking into...
The Place Of Possible The Place To Be (7/10)
I share space with a couple of people while waiting for a job interview. One of them was heads-down playing some sort of video game, the other couldn’...
Warm Dogs and Bubbly Water (8/10)
Before I got the job at “the place of possible, the place to be”, I worked at a company that let it’s employees bring their dogs into the office.
My Company Branded Lanyard and Me (9/10)
I had my first shift at H&M. The girl with the tattoo of the rattlesnake on her stomach sent me a picture.
A Toast To My Naivety is a 10-episode...
Pathetic and Capable (10/10)
I struggled to ring up a pair of pants. Then, right at the end of an important closing shift, some customers tore through each and every fedora, bombe...
An Elkwood Election (podcast update)
An episode about an Elkwood election, an orange velour jumpsuit, and a man named Declan. PODCAST UPDATE: I’m going to take a break from uploading podc...
A Cigarette In London
Hollywood might say that a cigarette after sex is the closest one can get to nirvana on earth. That when a metal bed frame, linen sheets, and rolled t...
The Buzz Cut
The complex that is the buzz cut. How a neglect to shave and this type of hairstyle work so well together, I still don’t know. For this episode, I thi...
The Telltale Signs of Autumn
This week’s episode is about autumn and is brought together by the following themes: climate change, me defending Joe Buck, a pumpkin spice piece, and...
Keith
They’ll tell you that not having sex is the best form of birth control, to which I disagree. Unequivocally, the best form of birth control is getting...
Buy Plants
This episode touches on creative blocks, being sad, unmotivated, and buying a plant. Enjoy!
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Dennis and Bree
A story about an unusual couple. You might say the chances of Mariah Carey marrying a single pistachio are greater than these two working out.
...
They Keep Their Diary In Their Sock Drawer
Doing some reading from my diary this week. One of the entries isn’t actually an entry from my diary, but part of a satire piece I wrote titled, “A Vu...
Qualified Immunity
Qualified Immunity seems to be a lot like that streaming service Quibi in that a lot of people are aware of it, but not many know what it is. I talk a...
The Elkwood Forum
To those new to Elkwood, welcome! The Elkwood Forum had something for everyone. The keyword: had. This story is about a mall before and after the boom...
The Chaos Experiment
This week's installment talks about Steve Bannon and his history producing direct-to-DVD films, We Build The Wall, and I even read a haiku.
I p...
The Nuances Of Moving Back In With Your Parents
For this episode there is no current event piece, rather I overanalyze some of the nuances in moving home at 25 years old. Which, I suppose, is a curr...
The Mail and Locker Room Talk
Here's my piece on USPS and I remind you about that aunt that writes you once a year, the one who you more remember through her hard-to-read penmanshi...
Team Names and DISCIPLINE
This week's monologue is about The Washington Football Team name change. The name is temporary, but I like it as it is, I say they keep it. Then for t...
Understanding Portland and Dutch Bros in Hell
What’s going on in Portland? I give some tips for the untrained federal officers on mass demonstrations (in Portland though, not sure if my tips apply...
Disney World and Elkwood's Pandemic
Florida set the record for daily COVID-19 cases, so Disney World opened. Then for chapter 2, we go to Elkwood for a story about the pandemic that they...
K-Pop Stans
This episode is a different format than most. It starts with a current events piece, the topic: K-Pop Stans, what are they? How strong are they? Then...
Work In Progress - a conversation with DeVoCustoms
For this episode, I'm joined by my friend Nathan DeVaughn, also known as DeVoCustoms. He is an artist in Portland, OR who has had his work worn by CJ...
You Look So Hot Wearing That Mask
In 5th grade, my parents signed me up for cotillion. Here, hundreds of other 11-year olds and I learned the specific roles and disciplines of each ute...
This Isn't Fine
It's been a few weeks and the normal social media climate seems to be creeping back in. Not barging in or even knocking on the door, but pulling into...
Marching with Masks
It’s an interesting complex, as being around so many people brings on a sense of pseudo normalcy, yet the main reason that we’ve come together in mass...
Dress For Success
A man wearing a Gucci t-shirt bumped into me at a street fair. He had a couple of burlap sacks of potatoes for pecs and a two locomotives that I guess...
Paranoid
Books coming in the mail at random unannounced. Not sure from who. It's mysterious, provokes a little paranoia. Also been sanitizing everything, and i...
Frozen Cookies
I’d be better off hoping to wake up in time to see dew on the strip of dead grass outside our house than to expect a rainy afternoon in San Diego. Whe...
Vicariously
An admiration, an envy for the lengthy frames of cross country runners and their community. And I've taken an appreciation to running through Portlan...
Are you paying attention?
A priest, a student with a short attention span, and a test to a moral compass.
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A Medicine Cabinet
A house isn't a home until you've been sick in it. This goes against the millennial desire of a semi-furnished studio apartment. One plant can't cure...
Fedoras
I was googling celebrities wearing fedoras when I found a photo of Barack Obama wearing one. Not the cool photo where he was smoking the joint. This p...
Far From Bored
Dealing with boredom during quarantine, being easily amused, anxious thoughts.
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